Where am I as a person, and where could I be?  These questions, posed to my Master’s of Education in Educational Technology Cohort after reading Chapter 5, “Currere,” by William Pinar, led to deep and revealing reflections.

Photo by Joshua Rawson-Harris on Unsplash

Currently, where I am as a person can be summed up in two words: content and comfortable.  I have nothing left to strive for in my personal life as I have a house, a reliable vehicle, my parents are taken care of, a caring and understanding partner, financial stability and the luxuries to do as I see fit, like travel.  However, do I really want to live a comfortable life where nothing can challenge my personal beliefs?  I usually strive to challenge and expand my worldview, as continually challenging myself is how I strive to reach self-actualization. According to psychologist Abraham Maslow, one’s life purpose or overall motivation is to achieve self-actualization.  When a person has reached their potential and self-worth according to their capabilities, they have reached self-actualization, and their needs have been fully met. What happens when this has been reached? Does the person find new motivation for their life, or are they to remain in their current state and be content with this goal?  To this, I ponder – have I reached my personal goals in life?  These questioning thoughts led me to believe that I am not as content as I initially thought and want to shift my potential to something more.  Is it refinement in my life that I desire or exploration of new cultures, peoples, and situations?  Mayhap, I have focused too much on my professional side and need to focus more on self-reflection and explore more worldviews.

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Looking at these questions through the lens of a teacher, I feel quite differently. The two words that describe where I am as a teacher are vastly different from who I am as a person, yet they have some foundational similarities.  As a teacher, I am confident and passionate.  Being a classroom teacher since 2007, I feel that I have my classroom management and philosophy securely figured out.  However, at times, I am complacent as I have been teaching the same curriculum for over 15 years: English Language Arts and Social Studies.  I understand the paperwork, legalities, and responsibilities of the job and realize that reflection still needs to be improved within the union and government legislation.  Should I take a more active role in this to see the change I want, or should I let others who are far more passionate in this matter fight this battle for myself?  Yet every year, I have new students walk into my classroom, and sometimes, I have new courses to challenge my abilities to create new content for my students.  My focus is more on my classroom than the obligations of the job.  For the future, as I am comfortable with myself in the school and the content, I should shift focus to instilling more authentic learning experiences for my students and me to explore together in class, such as artificial intelligence (AI) and literacy.  If I could learn and be on the cutting edge of AI use in the classroom for my school, I feel that I would reflect authentic learning in my students’ futures.  I have always been a continual learner in my profession and beyond; therefore, looking for a shift in classroom content focus makes the most sense.

Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

As a self-declared, continual learner, I have struggled to return to academic, institutionalized formal education this past year.  I have yet to feel confident in my demonstration of myself as a learner, especially when it comes to academic writing. My writing abilities have dwindled and reflect more to the audience I have been writing to for the past 15 years.  Middle school students are an interesting bunch, and I have found that their reading levels have not stayed the same since I started teaching but have lessened.  Which, in turn, have impacted my daily language and written phrasing.  Throughout the first semester, I have made glacial movements to see myself as something other than an imposter in class to someone who is driven to be here but maintains low self-confidence in their abilities.  I could be a strong and confident learner if I let go of my fears and insecurities, embraced my passionate learning, and acknowledged I am a scholar in progress.

The fundamental conclusion I gathered from this self-reflection session can be summed up when Pinar stated,

“We are changed by what we study; such educational experience encourages subjective and social reconstruction”

(Key Concepts in Curriculum Studies | Perspectives on the Fundamentals, n.d.). 

I feel that the more I study and learn, the more my motivations for my life change in all three aspects of myself: as a person, a learner, and an educator.  I thrive when my knowledge base is challenged and expanded.  That is my self-actualization: I am a continual learner and always will be.

Key Concepts in Curriculum Studies | Perspectives on the Fundamentals. (n.d.). Retrieved July 3, 2024, from https://www-taylorfrancis-com.ezproxy.library.uvic.ca/books/edit/10.4324/9781351167086/key-concepts-curriculum-studies-benjamin-bolden-theodore-michael-christou-christopher-deluca-marcea-ingersoll-holly-ogden-judy-wearing